The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good - Life is Good.

I have a 9:00-5:00 desk job as a Program Manager in one of Canada's largest Consulting Firms. I make a decent living and work from home most of the days. This allows me to take care of the needs of my family - be it cooking 3 meals daily, attending any school meetings for my son, taxing him around for his various activities, so on and so forth. The job also allows for a couple of yearly trips somewhere around the globe. Hubby is a decent man, albeit short tempered. But I think, I have learnt by now how to avoid conflicts and keep peace in the house.

So Life is Good....

The Bad - In search of Satisfaction.

I am not satisfied with my "Good Life". I am constantly stressed with work pressure. I don't see a purpose in what I am doing. I want a life that flows like a river. Bubbly, happy, filled with enthusiasm. The stress is pulling me down and not allowing me to express my true self. I want to sing, I want to dance, I want to paint, I want to practice Ayurveda......I want to fly. 

Sometimes I feel like breaking all the barriers and setting myself free. I dream of a world where I don't have to work for wages. Instead money and abundance just become a byproduct of what I love to do. Does that world exist? Will I ever be in that world? .....I don't know....

So I am in constant search for Satisfaction....

The Ugly - Deep Within Me

I felt like running away from there. Running away to where it did not hurt that much. Running away to where it would all be all right. Running away to where it did not happen. Running far far away. And I ran...and I am still running....But it is there. With me. Deep within me. Hiding in the abyss of my heart. And it will not leave me.  Till I breath my last breath. 

And then there will be peace......

So that is the Ugly which is buried Deep Within Me.....